As we go into 2019, I’m reflecting on this year of major changes for me and my direction in my personal and professional life. And I can say without a doubt that the biggest lesson I learned in 2018 is to listen to my inner being.
Now, I realize that may sound “California hippie” to some, but inner being can also be translated as your gut — or put most simply, what just feels right to you.
So in the spirit of helping others learn this lesson not-the-hard way like I did, I’ve come up with eight reflections if you’re in a situation you’re unsure about:
1.
Does it feel good when you think about it?
Ask yourself this first. This is the biggest sign there is that something is right or not right for you. If when you think about it and you aren’t smiling or buzzing, it doesn’t matter all the reasoning with yourself you do; it’s not a good fit.
2.
Being honest with yourself, are there red flags that you choose to ignore?
Forgive yourself. Even though your gut is telling you otherwise, you have good intentions and want it to work out. And often a situation changes and evolves over time. Learn from it so you can avoid it in the future.
3.
It doesn’t need to be that hard.
If you find yourself feeling like you’re “struggling” or just “trying to make it through the day,” guess what: it’s probably not right for you. Or maybe you need to realign yourself to why you’re in it (psst, you’re not a victim). When you are aligned with what you’re meant to do, it’s easy and just flows. You have boundless energy. The contrast is hard to ignore.
4.
Listen to those closest to you.
Even though you may not be listening to your inner being, the people in your support circle can see it a mile away. Everyone has to walk their own path and get to the destination on their own, but a little help along the way given through love is worth gold. (Thanks mom.)
5.
Come up with your own personal values.
This is one way to know if a situation is not aligned with who you are. If you know what you’re about and what you believe/stand for, it’s easy to see when something is not lining up with that. (I chose to put my values up on my website too.)
6.
Be grateful for the experience and what you learned.
This is a big one for me. Although it can be hard to get in this space, try to reflect on all the opportunities and growth that occurred because of the situation. Be grateful for it. It’s all part of the process. Or as Oprah would say, “What is happening to you, is also happening for you.”
7.
Contrast helps you determine what you DO want.
I believe in contrast. We need to be able to see what we don’t want in order to be put on the right path to what we do want. Pay attention to those people and situations that make you feel good, vs. those that don’t.
8.
If you could have anything you want, what would that be?
I remember my dad asking me this question when I was younger, and it stuck with me because this is a fundamental problem people have: most people don’t know what they really want. Most people like to complain and don’t really like to take responsibility for their unhappiness. So when envisioning your ideal future, what does that look like? You don’t need to make any excuses as to why it can’t be; just let your mind be free to the possibilities and see how it gives you real clarity. For me, it changed my life once I really saw it.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or how they perceive it because it’s your life. It’s up to YOU to take responsibility for your happiness and hold yourself accountable for the decisions you make. You don’t “have to” do anything; you choose to do it.
Moral of the story: listen to your gut, it knows you better than anyone.
Photo by Leighton Brechtel
