By far, whether through my client work, through social media, or through Élanoura retreats, the question I get asked most often is, “How do I find and align with my purpose?”
We all don’t want to wake up one day and think, “I don’t know where the time has gone. What have I done with it? Where am I going?” We are all seeking out how to make our precious time more meaningful….whatever that means to each of us.
Your purpose is what lights the way towards a meaningful life.
Over the years, I have created a variety of ways to get to the heart of this question, and that is where the answer resides: in your heart. You have to feel it, be inspired by it, in order to take continuous action towards it and create a legacy that matters.
But sometimes when we do visualization exercises around “What do I really want?” we either put all kinds of limiting thoughts around it that stop us in our tracks, OR, what we imagine we want is really an OUTCOME of what we really want. So I offer these three questions to you as way to do an internal check with yourself when you’re conceptualizing what you want and how you want to mark your mark, and make it matter:
#1
Feel It…
Does it evoke an emotional response?
When you imagine doing and achieving what you want to create, do you feel inspired, fired up?
Sometimes we think we know what we want because perhaps it’s something we’ve been told we should want, or something we used to want. But if you’re just going through life taking steps towards old or external desires, you’ll never really maintain the drive you need to make it happen. And if you do, it won’t really be that fulfilling at the end of it all. You have to FEEL IT. In your heart. It has to light you up, get you excited when you think about doing it. This feeling is what’s going to keep you going during those super creative times, and not-so-great times. You can always count on that feeling to restart your engines. (I’ve been going for 20+ years now, so trust me when I say this.)
#2
Remove It…
What does not doing it feel like?
Would you regret not doing it? Is it something you feel you just have to do?
A client brought this one up to me as she was trying to decide if she should go for a big idea she had and an opportunity presented itself. I use this question in my personal life, too. Similar to how you would want to sit and feel the possibility of making it happen, you also want to sit with the feeling of not doing it. How does that feel? Where’s the stronger emotion? You can also think of it this way, as a bit of a safety net: If it seems scary to you, you know that if you didn’t try, you would regret it. You can give yourself permission to go for it.
#3
Question It…
What is the why beneath the why?
It’s not about money or fame. Rather, is it about freedom or impact? Go deeper and it will endure.
It’s what Gary Zukav calls the “out-intention” — sometimes what we think we want is an external representation for something deeper within us. We have to get below the surface of an out-tention to the real in-tention. For example, let’s say you envision yourself in a big house in an area of the world you have always wanted to live. Or, you envision yourself standing on a stage in front of thousands of people who are there to see you. The big house might represent a sense of security and peace for you, the stage might represent impacting a larger audience. Think one level deeper as to what yours could also represent for you. And often, it takes us from the Me to the We – from seemingly self-centered desires to seeing the selfless impact we hope to create.
We explore all of these questions and more in my Brand Building Foundations course, on sale for a limited time at 50% off with code NEWYOU2024.
