“I believe failure is just information and an opportunity to change your course. They’re just detours, the Universe’s way of saying, ‘Turn around! You’re going the wrong way!'” — Oprah
I’ve had my share of “contrasting” experiences, particularly last year. And as much as they can be shocking and hurtful, I have learned to be grateful for them because they provide us the unique opportunity to discover what we don’t want — often just as valuable as (and critical to) learning what we do.
It’s an important part of branding too, and I help my clients through alignment exercises to better define their purpose and positioning, what makes them different, partly by looking at contrast. I’ll also ask them to tell me how they don’t want to be perceived, what’s not working for them now. Especially if they’re having trouble putting their finger on exactly what they want, when they can think critically about what they don’t want, it helps to narrow it down in contrasting terms. In our personal and professional lives, we can think of this exercise the same way: the contrasting people and experiences we have encountered along the way only help to steer us back onto the right path again, help us align with who we want to be and what we want to do.
Let me provide a personal example.
I had partnered with someone whose values were not as they seemed; often, I felt very uncomfortable about how this person danced with the line of unethical behavior. (My discomfort = my inner guidance system trying to tell me something important.) I put aside that nagging feeling for a long time, it affected my health, it eventually ate away at me until something happened that finally forced me to draw a hard line in the sand. As painful as it was, what I eventually came to out of that experience was that I was crystal clear about who I wanted to work with, and with whom I did not. I dedicated myself to giving my time and talent to good people, and now, I’m leading classes and have created new material to help those people and businesses get aligned with their purpose and implement the right brand for them and their audience. I know I would not be here doing this work — aligned with my new mission — had I not gone through that challenging experience. It was critical to my own evolution, and now I’m better able to help people and change the business landscape. I’m more fulfilled than I’ve ever been.
So pay attention when something feels off and why, and in those times when you hit a major block or setback along your way (a ‘mistake’ a ‘failure’), ask:
What are you here to teach me?
The answer always reveals itself. And you can THANK IT for putting you back in alignment with who you really are, and what you really came here to do.
Can you reframe any “failures” along your path by thinking of them in this new context? How did they get you back on track? Did they help you better define what you really want, how you are different, and what you can be doing differently?
(Altered) photo by Chrissie Kremer via Unsplash
