I was recently emailed that on this page I make my life “seem too perfect all the time, which isn’t genuine.”
At first, I laughed.
And then, I got kinda P.O.’d.
I’m not sure where or when this idea started that a style blogger needs to divulge personal details in order to remain true to herself and her readers. I wanted to ask this individual, do you do this in your place of work or with people you’re just meeting? So why should I? Such an odd concept!
I intentionally keep things positive here because that’s what makes me happy and motivated, and I hope it does that for you too. I don’t believe I need to apologize or insert more negativity to “keep it real.” (And let’s not forget that this is the face of my business.)
I have had my share of struggles but I try my best to pick myself up, adjust, and move on. It takes “real” determination and hard work. Hey, I’ve been blindsided, dumped, laid off, out of work, suffered miscarriages, lost friends, been betrayed, hurt, down and out, just like everyone else. These struggles don’t make me special.
But I’m in a good place right now, and I’m gonna enjoy it since it won’t last forever.
So as I enter the last year of my 30’s this Friday (yikes!),
I’m gonna take this GOOD,
know that I’ve learned and will continue to learn from the BAD,
and keep going on with LIFE.
*I don’t think Mrs. Garrett ever said this on the show, but it makes me laugh!
that is ludicrous! Your positive vibe touches so many every day, keep it coming! keep on being you, erika :)
hmm… seems to me this person who emailed you didn’t read your Things I’m Afraid to Tell You post. Because you certainly shared some not-so-shiny-and-perfect areas that you struggle with there. So I’m not really sure I agree with that person, but I do appreciate you keeping things up beat on your blog – this isn’t a spill-your-guts lifestyle blog – sure, you inject some pieces of your life here, but this space is supposed to be an inspiration for us, right? You’re doing a great job. Keep it up.
Good for you Erika. You deserve to enjoy it! You work very hard. Obviously this person didn’t see your GSD. :) It is YOUR blog, so you can post and say whatever you choose. I think what some people don’t realize is that all bloggers are people too. We have the same things going on in our lives as everyone else. We are affected by the recession, we have less-than-perfect days all the time, etc. I’m glad you didn’t let this get you down.
Keep doing what you are doing… this is your business and not your personal life journal. I personally like your style and professionalism. I am also quite tired of blogs that overly focus on negative items, competition, and the overdose of frugality. You are doing great, keep being positive and you will continue to have a great life and business.
I can’t stand those kind of mean comments. I so enjoy visiting your blog and can tell how genuine you are for sure. Congrats on your upcoming birthday!
I’m with you Erika, keep it positive! Your doing a wonderful job!
You have a very real esthetic, and any engaged reader can tell that you’re a genuine person behind the computer – which I think is all that matters. I completely agree with you on this being the face of your business and maintaining a brand image. You don’t see Martha Stewart talking about jail time in ‘Real Simple’ magazine! :)
I agree with you. How nice to come to a place to see beautiful things, get wonderful ideas, be inspired. It is strange to me to think a blog’s posts encompasses the entire life of the blogger. Blogging and posting is just a facet of a person’s life and aesthetic. People need to understand a blog is not a diary. Like you mention this is the face of your business, you have to be professional. I think you do an amazing job here and I like coming here because of the positive, beautiful things I see and read. If I wanted drama I would go somewhere else, right? Don’t change a thing.
Hate mail means you’ve really made it ;)
But seriously, I get it. My blog is my business too and its weird and probably inappropriate to get too personal. Not that I’ve let that stop me. But it has to be comfortable for you. Your blog, your rules.
Happy almost birthday, my Dear!
I couldn’t agree more with you, Erika – I feel the same way about what I share over at S+S. Your blog is always a source of happiness + inspiration to me… which is one of the reasons I keep coming back to reading more. There is no need to overshare, and to be honest, I’m not sure what started this movement in the blogsphere where you’re “not real” if you don’t share all the nitty-gritty details of your life. Your blog is one of my absolute favorites… keep doing what you are doing! (And happy almost birthday!) xo
You deserve all the best and I’m sure this burthday will bring wonderful things with it! xx
Erika, that is just crazy. I feel that you have been real with us before, but like you said, this is your business blog and not your personal diary. We have all faced struggles, but the successful/wise people know not to dwell on them. Keep on doin your thing, girl! XO, Sam
It really is astonishing what people think is necessary to email. Unbelievable really. I adore your blog and your voice and you are absolutely right. :)
I agree with you!! Happy belated birthday and I hope that you had a wonderful weekend celebrating.
Oh, E, I am constantly befuddled and amazed by the people who take the time to email something negative to me. I think it says way more about them and their life than my little blog. I know that the next year is going to be so amazing for you. You have lived so much and experienced so much and you are now reaping the well-deserved rewards for all you have learned in your life. I am so proud of everything that you have accomplished and so happy to know you! Happy Bday!!
xoxo -e (modern24seven)
Woah, you are almost 39? You come across more youthful than that (but in a good way!). Perhaps that means positivity is a good look for you ;)
I love the commenter who said you just don’t see Martha Stewart talking about jail time! That’s great! At the end of the day, people establish blogs for different reasons – to vent, to record, to dream, to promote, or to escape. Any of these reasons are valid on their own, or in any sort of combination; the medium allows for unlimited personalization. To criticize your “level of share” seems silly, really. There are zillions of blogs out there – many infused with a good dose of the venting that this reader seems to require. Rather than criticize, it makes sense to find some better suited to the reader’s own personality.
I visit daily because I admire your aesthetic, your ideas, your written voice and yes, your professionalism! It’s quite inspirational. Thank you!
One of the reasons I enjoy reading your blog is because you do see the bright side of life. Plus, I like your creativity, too! Keep up the great positive work!!
Completely agree with you…and its your blog and up to you what you want to say and share with the world ! Happy birthday week !!
xoxo
Lily
Totally ridiculous if you ask me. It’s obviously your choice how much and what you want to reveal about your personal life, and if you choose to highlight the positive, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Too often I think we put a premium in this country on giving a space to telling our stories of woe, and while they are valid, of course, I think so often we aren’t as apt to celebrate stories and feelings of joy for fear of coming across… spoiled, perfect. The keen reader and person knows that everyone has both facets to them, and that perhaps they are only privy to one.
I just want to take the time to thank you for this blog. I check your blog practically every morning before I get started with my day. I like seeing a bright positive style blog. I like reading about the pieces of your life that you share with your readers. I luv the new ideas that you give your readers about design and style. And that’s really all I look for or need from a blog.
I don’t understand why so many miserable people need validation of their misery by seeing someone else miserable. I have never in a million years assumed your life is perfect just by seeing the small tidbits you show on this blog. I’m not here to make assumptions about your life. I’m not here to psycho-analysis your life, that would make me the nut job. I want to type more because this is something I’m seeing more and more on the “net” and in my life but I’ll take your lead and keep it positive.
Again, thank you for the blog and keep enjoying your life.
Whoa, that is odd. Who wants to come to your blog and read about a Debbie Downer? Or anyone’s blog for that matter. Did this person not read your Things I’m Afraid to Tell You post. Pft. I think you’ve kept it pretty real, but what matters most is what YOU think. And if I were you, I’d think I’ve been doing a great job. :)
I love this post! As much as I appreciate when bloggers occasionally post about going through a hard time, I think for most of us (I know for me) our blogs are an escape from everyday ups and downs.
Your blog is one of my daily reads so please don’t change anything – and happy early birthday!
xx,
Kirby
It’s been a long time since I posted a comment for you, but this post inspired me to stop being a lurker for a minute. I read your blog (and follow you on Pinterest, Tumblr, etc) because you are such a positive force and inspiring to boot. I believe in rejoicing about the blessings of others because you don’t know what they went through to get where they are. And I indeed believe every word you write is genuine, which is why I visit everyday. I deal with enough “real life” in my own daily life, it’s nice to have a moment of positivity hit my inbox everyday to keep me inspired and put a smile on my face. Don’t ever change dollface!
PS: You’re about to turn 39?!?!? I don’t believe it! Hopefully I’m just as fabulous when I get there in 6 years.
You’re a real person living life and all that entails. Duh…isn’t it a given that no one’s life is perfect? Isn’t that why we read blogs in the first place, to escape? I like to see pretty and shiny and inspirational in my down time. If I wanted to see messy house and mass chaos and shit diapers I’d step away from the laptop and look around at everyday. Fuck off, haters.
I love that you keep a positive and up beat manner to the blog. Gives me a chance to smile each afternoon when I read – even when I have had a bad or good day myself!
Thanks for all the postings! Keep the cheerful attitude coming.
the things that people freely say from behind the anonymity of a computer baffle me. your blog is a bright and happy place which i imagine reflects you and your personality in real life! screw the haters, you’ve got lots of other readers and fans who love your sunny outlook!
xoxoxo
I think being positive is infectious. Positive energy only feeds positive energy. I think what you’re doing great and please don’t stop! :)
You’re soooo right!! And who wants to see negative blog posts anyway? I check your blog and other great blogs for inspiration, it brings me JOY! Why would I want to see “the bad”??? Ugh! :) Keep doing what you’re doing, I love it!!
I think you seem very “real” what that may mean to this person! Keep on going I love following along and learning!
Did anyone else have the theme song play in their head when they read this? Loved that show {young George Clooney!}
Love your blog, Erika, and all it’s positivity. Some where down the line people started thinking negativity = keeping it real. Not for us positive people! :) Thanks for doing what you’re doing!
Erika, I have been a long time follower of your beautiful inspiring blog, clearly this person is not! You’ve shared plenty of your personal life, but it’s the way that you handle your struggles that is just such an inspiration! I love the positive vibe you send out, and it is the beautiful interiors, fashion and daily inspirations that keep me reading every day, not the desire to hear that life is not always peachy!
Your life does sound pretty fab! But I also know you have worked very hard to get where you are and have earned that success!
Keep it up, I love your style!
Everyone has struggles, and we certainly don’t want to just hear continuous complaints. Keeping positive is a wonderful thing and most people visit blogs for inspiration (and sometimes a break from their own struggles).
You have a wonderful blog and I enjoy it. Cheers!!!
Oh Erika, I read this and thought how crazy it was! I think you come across as an extremely geniune and real person on this blog which is why I love it so much! If you kept banging on about all the crap in your life that would be a different kind of blog now wouldn’t it? Love your blog + your style, please keep inspiring us with your beautiful posts xx
Well said! :-)
You deserve all the happiness in the world! Love you! shake them haters off.
Your doing great! Take it all in and run with it and keep doing what you know best to do Chica!
You go girl!
Even if we’re struggling with life, what’s the point of being down on the blog.. except those times maybe sharing to relate with others. I come to your blog daily for inspirations and all the positivity! I believe mostly that’s why I read blogs throughout the day, it makes my day a little less blue.
But I did love your Things I’m afraid to tell you post. And like you said, we don’t need to expose all personal details to “be real”. Also, isn’t it real enough that we post things that’s us? things that we take interest and like personally? I think that’s all that matters.
P.S Being successful only gets these kind of emails, I’m sure you already know that haha ;)
people often get triggered by things that they need to face within themselves. i’ve been called this a few times too and i’ve come to the realization that as long as i’m true to myself and my intentions are pure, that’s all that matters. :-) you inspire and that’s all that matters, so continue what you’re doing because you’re a gem! you’re blog (and your essence) is my daily candy so stay as you are. my dream is to work with you on my business some day soon. :-) have a fabulous birthday erika.
people often get triggered by things that they need to face within themselves. i’ve been called this a few times too and i’ve come to the realization that as long as i’m true to myself and my intentions are pure, that’s all that matters. :-) you inspire and that’s all that matters, so continue what you’re doing because you’re a gem! you’re blog (and your essence) is my daily candy so stay true to your “brand”. my dream is to work with you on my business some day soon. :-) have a fabulous birthday erika.
That comment is so silly. I don’t understand why some people feel the need to say such things. I love your blog and your positivity. I hope you have a fabulous birthday on Friday.
love the quote…love hearing positive stuff who wants to hear people whinge…naughty 40’s!x
Silly that you even have to address this. What is so wrong with being optimistic? I read blogs to surround myself with positivity & creativity, and then started one to do the same. If this person wants to hear about things that aren’t “too perfect”, they on turn on the news. Plenty of negativity out there. I’d rather view life through rose colored glasses ;)
Well, that’s frustrating! I’ve always had the motto “to each his own”. If a person chooses to be less personal on their blog or through their business, that is totally their prerogative! The idea that you have to share the nitty-gritty to connect with your readers seems like a trend that I’ve been seeing a lot of… and that’s fine! Good for you for staying true to your style of content. That’s what’s most important, after all.
Good for you Erika! Keep putting out a positive and inspiring message. What you do is fabulous and fun–which is just as ‘genuine’ as life’s struggles. I read Small Shop every day and really enjoy it.
Have a great Birthday!!
Cheers,
Ceil
to each their own, you know? i’m sure there are plenty of places said reader can go for their daily downer…the news for instance. just keep doing what you do, lady! we love you and your little corner of the web just the way it is! oxox
Amen, sista!!! Seriously a great post! I am 100% with you…my blog is my positive, happy place and I don’t feel I need to share my every struggle! Also, I am someone who believes in carrying a positive lifestyle…if people want to hear about negative things, they can flip on the news (which is why I don’t watch the news). I am so glad you shared this…it opened up such a great discussion :) XO brynn
Erika, you always always know exactly what to say! Such grace and class! I’m so grateful to have found your shiny, happy blog and love you and it for all the positivity it brings to my life! :) xo
You know what Erika? I’ve observed that a lot of people get tons of attention if they talk about they dirty little secrets or if they talk about how sad their life is, blah blah blah….and I gotta be honest, I think exactly as you do, and if I seem more “real” to someone by only sharing my struggles, then I’m sorry! Staying positive doesn’t make me less honest than others, and no, my life is not perfect, but I’m immensely grateful for what I have and I don’t feel the need to constantly share “struggles” just to get attention. Oh, I’m so relieved to know that there’s someone out there who thinks like I do in this regard ;)
Haters gonna hate. You know you are loved and don’t evah forget it! Oh, and PS, you ARE pretty darn perfect! ;)
Erika, I have read your blog from time to time, but a close friend brought this post to my attention yesterday. I started writing my blog, the Queen City Style, about 9 months ago after I stopped operating a successful business of 8 years to be a stay at home mom with the birth of my second son… as we’ve all faced decisions and changes, this one was a major one for me. To stop operating a successful and reputable business I owned for 8 years was losing a major piece of my identity. What would I do if I didn’t go back?? What kind of job would I take and who would hire me after my kids went to school and I spent all that time at home/NOT working?! It all has been a major shift to say the least. I am a creative person, so about 5 months into being a stay at home Mom, I started throwing balls everywhere into all things creative.. painting furniture, playing dress up for myself :), writing, decorating and more. Last Nov. Lucky Mag picked up a submission I wrote for their back page (could not believe it), and that was the catalyst for my blog and my new hobby. I could NOT be happier!!!!! FINALLY a way to channel who I really am! I turned 35 in March and I am finally finding a way to be myself! Along with that, styling clothes on my blog, has come some scrutiny.. you’re too thin, you have it all, etc etc. I run 25 miles a week–for my heart, body, soul, mind and sanity! I do NOT have it all. I have NO income… I am wearing old, vintage and clothes are super discount. At any rate… just wanted to share this with you, bc I had this very convo with a friend on the phone this weekend seeking support and advice, since people can wear “rose colored” glasses, as she so poignantly stated. Well, I may have just shared more than is attractive, but thanks to you and your sharing, I feel much better and don’t feel I have to explain myself to all my readers. Now following you!! I hope you will visit me/the Queen City Style some time! Thanks again :) Fondly, Whitley
Erika,
I rarely comment on blogs, but I agree with your mindset. I only use social media for work purposes or for inspiration or networking. Therefore, I want inspiration, a quirky story, cool trivia, but I do not think a blog like yours should be for venting or dumping. Like you said- this is the face of your business. You can be genuine and endearing while still remaining professional. And you’ve given small glimpses into your personal life on the occasional blog post- which is enough for you to be relatable. I hope this is the only comment I ever make on a blog, (unless it’s entering to win a giveaway!), but I did want to leave you with some encouragement. Your blog is my favorite for a reason!
Hi Erika, I totally agree with you. It’s amazing what people will say. I only read blogs that are inspiring and make me feel good, otherwise what’s the point.
I’m so glad you brought to our attention the song from The Facts of Life that the reader sent you. I am astonished we went around joyously humming that tune. I am glad you recognized it for what it isn’t. Those certainly aren’t the facts of life. (It’s also hard to believe someone’s life’s mantra is based from a popular 80’s sitcom.) Your revision was well put. Happy Birthday, Julie Renee
This person is clearly an idiot. Your positivity makes my days so much better. I love you Erika! And happy belated! We’ll toast together next week!
I love everything you said..and heck, we’re both Leos?!? cool. Also the same age…39 right? My Bday was on the 15th.
Anyhow, sometimes I struggle with being candid on my blog – but I’ve realized that if we dont say what we we feel we need to say, other people will think they can do it for us. Which is wrong, I feel. I never thought you were perfect and certainly hope people dont think that of my life. There is no lesson learned with a PERFECT life. I have a lot of things I will be talking about on my blog soon, but I will no longer let these things keep me prisoner or afraid to flourish. I know who I am now and will not let others dictate who they think i am. You shouldn’t either. I love your blog and I think your fab!!!! Your daughter is amazing too- you are very blessed.
OXOX
Madebygirl.blogspot.com
MadeByGirl.com
Amen sister!!!!
I simply adore you. Positive attitude breeds positive results. Don’t ever change.
LOVE THIS!!! You said this so perfectly. These same people are the ones who complain tirelessly when they’re waitstaff isn’t chipper or the guy who bagged their groceries wasn’t friendly enough. Could you imagine if we were all airing our dirty laundry and complaints all the time. I may only show pictures of my house when it’s clean but you better believe I hide all the crap in the closets when guests come over in real life too. Cheers to you and your good attitude!